Friday, February 27, 2009

Homosexuality, Anxiety and Christianity...

If there is a thin line between controllable and uncontrollable personal circumstances, and our chemical make up and biology determines mental balance (bipolar, schitzophreia, etc), then the division between right and wrong becomes much more difficult to really see and understand.
I am a Christian; I believe that God intended for a man to be with a woman and I also believe that we are not to be overcome with our human emotions and simply trust that all is a part of Gods plan and everything, through him, works for a greater good- even though it may not always appear that way at the time.
And most importantly, I believe that Jesus died for our sins and that the Bible is without error.
But, there are so many foggy issues. I have studied a lot of science. In psychology I learned that when you take a set of twins who were given up to adoption at birth and reared apart, if one turns out to be homosexual, studies show that the chance of the other being homosexual is very great.
Okay... at this point I become confused. This suggests biology behind homosexuality, and not mere choice. So, what is a homosexual to do if there is uncontrollable in born chemistry that causes this way of thinking?
Now, don't think that I am disputing anything that the Lord says is right and wrong. I am not trying to disprove anything the Bible says. I believe the Bible to be true and holy and without error.
But I am simply confused when it comes to this.
My uncle is homosexual. I love him dearly... and because of that I want to delve a little deeper into these thoughts. If he was born the way he was born, and did not make a conscious choice to be homosexual, then what is he to do to be right with God?

Now lets move to the being overcome by human emotions idea. I suffer from anxiety. I always have. It was a lot worse when I was younger, but still... the thought of going to certain public places (especially alone) seems, at times, daunting. I fear praying out loud, talking to people I don't know well, dentist visits, social situations- especially crowded areas, seeing friends I haven't seen in a while- which means catching up... talking to my teachers (one on one), speaking up in class, etcetera.
I used to be so bad that I could hardly muster up a word in school and I have actually had slight anxiety attacks.
If my heart starts pounding and I get shaky, sweaty, and nervous... what am I to do? In order to obey the Lord, I am to not let myself get like this because in doing so, I am not trusting that He will deliver me from that situation.
But how do I control this? I pray about it. I still get horribly scared for no good reason.
Some people have chemical imbalances... such as bipolar. Is anxiety a chemical imbalance? And if so, how is the chemistry and biological imbalance a sin?
Like I said, I am not trying to dispute anything the Bible says. I am just voicing my confusion.

Feel free to clarify, as I know I have a lot to learn yet.


  1. We all have different trials in life. That's why we're here- to learn to overcome them. Some struggle with yearnings to commit adultery or steal, or even just being selfish and mean; others, however, must struggle in their feelings for those of the same sex. Regardless, like you said, those things are all wrong in God's eyes and we will be blessed accordingly for overcoming them.

  2. Thanks for the comment. My husband and I were discussing this and he said pretty much the same thing... just because some one who has had a drinking problem may want to drink, that doesn't mean doing it in excess (or at all) is what they need to do.
    It's just hard to swallow knowing that I have an uncle who may never change and he says he was born that way. I can't help but wonder if homosexuality does have chemical and biological roots in some instances. But all in all, I do believe that it is wrong and I believe that if prayer can move mountains, it can changes peoples way of thinking as well.